The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
