drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
