Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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