I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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