I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
