Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
