I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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