he puts the penis in happiness.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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