well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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