the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
