Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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