I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
