I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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