Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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