i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
