Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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