am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
