so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
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We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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