So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
