So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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