you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
