You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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