Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
