Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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