I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
