i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize