They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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