Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
