Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
