chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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