well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
