I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
