Umm I'm too high to move.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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