I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
