So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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