What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
