Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
