i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
