I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
