I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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