I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
