Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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