"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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