I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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