I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
