I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
