the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
