not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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