There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
