you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
