Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
