So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
