So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
