Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
