Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
