real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
