Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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