youre lurking in front of me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
