She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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