Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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