Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
