and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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