I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.