i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
