whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
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