I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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